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Self Test: Goals and Expectations

People's decisions are often guided by concepts that are bundles of the following motivations:

πŸ“ˆ Goals / Fears: strategy

πŸ›ƒ Setting Expectations: social modeling / ideological commitments

πŸ’ Meeting Expectations: social roles / social norms

🌳 Personal Values: inspirations / appreciations

In this self test, however, we've reduced the bundles down to one aspect. Read the quote, then click on the toggle (β–Ά) to find out how the concept (in italics) is guiding that person's choices.

Guess the motivation before you click the β–Ά toggle!

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πŸ‘©πŸ»β€πŸ¦± Francesca. "I'm a card-carrying member of the Ayn Rand Society. People should take responsibility, and just do things for themselves. I spend about ten hours each week blogging and giving speeches on Objectivist ideals. The world would be a better place if everyone were more independent."

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πŸ‘±πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈArjun. "My sister is under a lot of stress. I've been cleaning her house and picking up her kids from school. I was taught from a young age that you have to be helpful. Maybe I'm pushing myself over my own limits, but what kind of a brother would I be if I just did my own thing?"

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πŸ§‘πŸΎJasmine. "I was hanging out with my friend, Jeremy. He was worried because he had to move house and no one was available who could help him. I told him I could do it. He said he didn't want to ruin my weekend, but told him about my favorite aunt and how she was always ready to lend a hand. The way she treated people is a real inspiration to me. I was happy to have a chance to be helpful."

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πŸ‘±πŸ½β€β™€οΈWanda. "I get up at 5am each day and head to the office. I work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. Every year in July, I allow myself one week of 'me time'. I've got to be very disciplined if I want my business to succeed."

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πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€πŸ¦²Maxi. "Whenever we go out, I always order the strangest thing I can find on the menu. And I'll hit on any stranger you like, just ask around. Last week, I got the phone number of an on-duty cop! All of my friends know that I'm up for just about anything. I'm super adventurous."

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πŸ§“πŸ½Xi. "When I was a little girl, I used to worry that everyone would think I was crazy if I would just let all my energy shine out. But one day, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst into song and danced on the table right in the middle of dinner. My mom was pretty shocked, and sent me to my room. But I thought a lot about it, and decided right then and there that I didn't care as much about dessert as I did about being playful."

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πŸ‘³πŸ»β€β™‚οΈSadeq. "It's been a few years since there was any love left in my marriage. I can't afford a place of my own in this city, let alone one where my kids could stay. It would be a disaster if we got divorced. So I try to stay positive when I talk to my wife."

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πŸ‘΄πŸ½ Diego. "I was drinking beer with my friend in our favorite bar. She started talking about a new guy she met. I've seen him around. He's just arrogant, you know? Well, she was all excited, and I thought about just letting her make up her own mind. But I would want her to be honest with me, so I decided to be honest with her."

Final Question: Identify Marcel's Motivations

πŸ§”πŸΌ Marcel is walking down the street in a big city. He is late. He was supposed to meet his friend Francesca at a cafe 20 minutes ago, but a work meeting ran over the expected time. Without thinking about it directly, his mind filters the environment, directing his attention to ways to get to the cafe that are quick and safe. The sidewalks and streets, the people, bikes and cars… The advantages and dangers of different routes stand out to him.

He safely crosses the street and hears a shout. A man is crouching in front of a cup with a small paper sign that reads "please help". Marcel's mind shifts away from the cafe. He begins to notice people walking by the man with the cup. One young boy even jumps over his back. "Everyone's so focused on getting somewhere. They ought to be more caring," Marcel thinks. He pulls out some coins, and they clink into the cup. His mind shifts back to Francescsa waiting at the cafe, and he hurries off.

Francesca is sitting quietly, reading a book in a comfortable chair. As Marcel approaches, his attention is drawn again to the fact that he is late. He hopes she doesn't forget that he's usually reliable. Francesca greets him in a way that indicates she's a bit annoyed by the delay. Marcel apologizes, and politely offers to buy her another coffee. "Oh, alright. I'll just finish this chapter", she says.

As Marcel carries the coffees to their table, he begins to launch into the story of his hectic day. Francesca interrupts him, saying: "Wait, Marcel... Listen. They're playing John Coltrane. Let's be quiet for a minute. It's cozy and warm here, and you look like you could use a moment to arrive." Marcel closes his eyes, feeling himself sway silently with the melody. Francesca has directed their attentions towards being present and embodied. He feels himself swell with gratitude. To have a friend like her is a true blessing.

Identify Marcel's Motivations

πŸ“ˆ Goals / Fears: strategy

πŸ›ƒ Setting Expectations: social modeling / ideological commitments

πŸ’ Meeting Expectations: social roles / social norms

🌳 Personal Values: inspirations / appreciations