Exercise: Listening with Values Empathy - Shoulds / Coulds

People may or may not share your values. But even if their value is something you've never experienced, you can recognize it as a value by the way they talk. Drop into your own body and tune into how your interviewee is expressing whatever it is they are saying. Filter out the "shoulds" and focus on the "coulds"!


Outcomes/Expectations. When your choices are guided by an outcome or expectation, you tend to feel restricted. You pressure yourself to fit an image that someone else has of you, that you think you need to model for others, or that you impose on yourself.



Values. When your choices are guided by a value, you tend to feel alive and heart-open. You are remembering (or recognizing) wisdom about how to approach things, treat people, and live life. Look and listen for your interviewee to "light up" when they talk about ways of being that inspire them.