Game: 👺 Out of Character w. Ideological Commitments
Overview. Each player finds ways they think people shouldn't be. The group then agrees to support each other in trying out those »out of character« selves, and reflecting on the experience.
Make a list of a few ways you work to set an example to friends or strangers. Or, if it seems more intuitive, you can make a list of standards you expect yourself to live up to.
I work to be set an example as... / I expect myself to be...
Common Examples: Accomodating, Authentic, Calm, Caring, Fair, Friendly, Generous, Gentle, Intellegent, Interested, Interesting, Loving, Kind, Open-Minded, Patient, Strong
Other Tips:
It's best if you really do put in some work to be seen or think of yourself in these ways:
Caring - you want to go to bed, but you stay up to listen to your friends complain
Intelligent - you overprepare for meetings and take extensive notes on everything
What kind of example do you try hard not to set? What do you really not want others to think it's ok to be? Alternately, what kind of person do you specifically not want to be?
because I don't want anyone to think it's ok to be... / because I can't stand to see myself as...
Common Examples: Bitchy, Bored, Boring, Cold, Dangerous, Egotistical, Fake, Impatient, Mean, Racist, Rough, Selfish, Sexist, Snobby, Spiteful, Stingy, Stupid, Weak
Other Tips:
This list is not necessarily just the literal opposite of the list above. The best »scary opposite« is one that actually makes you feel anxious when you think about others seeing you that way, or think about yourself being that way.
Sometimes that means »scary opposites« end up looking like this:
I work to be seen as organized because I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy. 😱
I expect myself to be helpful because I can't stand to see myself as resigned. 😱
Sometimes it means getting more specific:
Bitchy, like someone who just insults people if she doesn't like how they look - NOOOOO... everyone would hate me if they thought I were like that. 😱
Stupid, like a guy who really just doesn't get what is going on in his surroundings - I would be terrified if I thought I weren't actually aware of the social context. 😱
In a circle, one player at a time tries on one of their ways of being, saying or doing so mething out of character, without telling the others which it is. The others can compliment anything they liked about what the person did or said (the character, not the acting). Then it is the next player's turn.
Take a few minutes to think about why you think it's important for everyone to be that way and what way of being might be compromised through that. Take notes and then share.
What do you worry would happen if you didn't push yourself to be this way?
How could you be if you weren't pressuring yourself to live up to a certain image?