We can drill into that, that process of relationship building, by gathering stories of how these relationships get built.

Here’s one such story.

About 8 years ago, I was thinking about doing deep work, but I didn't really know what it took. Then I met my friend Bret.

• When Bret and I had dinner, we saw we shared some deep questions about making technology that’s aligned with human values.
• He started by challenging me to talk at his research lab. He issued a challenge. He was like “Hey, can you come and give a talk?”
• At the time, my thoughts were a mess. I did a bad job with the talk.
• He took me aside, and he gave me two hours of feedback after my shitty talk.
• He was very gentle, but very detailed.
• I took his feedback seriously.
• He saw I was worth investing in.
• Bret helped me think clearer and was a critical audience while my thoughts were still messy, and this was how our relationship formed.

So, all this is part of me starting to do deep work.