Begin by

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← Clicking here and running your value through ⭐️ On My Own Terms

Find a word or short phrase that captures your value (a way of being). Write it down:

Using the word above, answer these questions one at a time. (slowly works best)

1) To seem this way to others, I've been:

2) But on my own terms, being this way means being:

3) And people I admire for being this way inspire me because they are:

How would you name your value now?

Use your answers to 2) and/or 3). Write it here:

approaching things ___, treating people ___, acting ___, keeping things ___, living life __

Then continue by

• Would it still be worth doing independent of the outcome? If so, continue to the next bullet point. If not, it's a goal or fear! Take notes below.

"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't affect the outcome?"

• Would it still be worth doing if no one knew you did it? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's a social norm. Take notes below.

"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if no one noticed?"

• Do you believe you could still be a good person even if you failed to be this way? If so, continue to the next question. If not, it's an internalized social norm. Take notes below.

"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if there were no rules?"

• Would it still be worth being this way if no one else ever joined in? If so, (after all the questions above) it's probably a value! If not, it’s an ideological commitment. Take notes below.

"How would I want to approach things/treat people/etc. if I couldn't influence anyone?

Use any relevant answers to write out your value below.

Is your value "clear"? If not, answer these questions:

Is your value "awareness-guiding"? If not, ask these questions:

Is your value an "improvisational directive"? If not, ask these questions:

• Other consequences living by this value might have (to) assess, accept, sit with, make space for, hear out, mitigate, prepare for, remember, change, ignore

• Noticing—Noticing an internal or external stimulus, Attending to something, Tracking something.
• Feeling—Noticing, Identifying the emotion, Disentangling the immediate cause and associated beliefs.
• Focusing—Noticing, Selecting what to focus on, Attending to Something, Shifting focus, Tracking something over time, Keeping in mind, Staying in Touch with, Not getting distracted.
• Recognizing, Identifying—Noticing an internal or external stimulus, Having a Referent (e.g. previous experience with the thing I am trying to identify)
• Gathering information, Finding out—Discovering, Investigating, Scanning for—Knowing what you need (to know, to look out for), Gaining access, Interpreting what you learn.
• Remembering, Recalling—Remembering how to do something or explicit knowledge, Having gained that knowledge, Remembering to remember.
• Generating, imagining alternatives (creativity)
• Assessing, discerning—Assessing, Evaluating, Discerning, Telling whether, Separating, Identifying.
• Deciding, Weighing, Choosing—Trading off, Prioritising, Balancing more than one concern, Choosing the best ... (team, time, space)
• Modeling, Foreseeing—Modeling interactions, Stepping into the shoes of the other, Foreseeing consequences, Anticipating.
• Changing Situations and Games—Making space for, Creating, Getting, Finding, Arranging, Collecting, Building, Borrowing, Asking for support with, Pausing, Rearranging
• Social Skills—Negotiating, Listening, Asking, Understanding, Reminding, Providing support, Stepping into their shoes, Empathy
• Resources, Capacity, Experience—Setting yourself up ahead of time to do hard things later.
• Changing Course, Dealing with Setbacks—Accepting, Sitting with, Bearing, Knowing it's okay, Improvising, Stepping back, Aborting, Changing mental model, gear, lens.